So I have this vision – every time I come home and put my key in the door - of an empty condo. Every time I jiggle the key, I wait and listen for the telltale noise of clinking dogtags before I turn and open. It’s an awful, guilty feeling those few seconds before I hear him. I am not that removed from reality to realize that some people might think my connection to my dog borders on ridiculous. But I do know that everyone out there can connect to a safe harbor. A connection that makes them feel at home, whole, happy, and alive. Maybe it’s a significant other, baby, pet, bottle, stuffed animal, or cell phone – everyone has one, and everyone would be lost without it.
For 36 days I opened a door to something that wasn’t my home. It was a cold, empty place. Every time I walked in my instinct was to walk back outside again. As many will attest to, I actually did walk right back out a lot of the time.
I am not being cute when I say this –my dog Rocky is my rock. He is who has been there for me through everything. And no matter the bad news I get in the world, he’s the one who greets me tail wagging, hurtling around, as if daddy coming home was the best thing that ever happened to him. I only hope I can even approach the happiness he feels and shows every time I come home even one day in my life. Even when I am in a bad mood, he is there with the same jubilant welcoming. Apparently, he either never has a bad day or he is able to put his mood aside when he sees me. I wish I could be the same.
I am a flawed individual. I make mistakes every day of the week and twice as many on weekends. My dog is the same – every day of the week he does something wrong. And on weekends, it gets worse. Yet we still endure with each other. And that’s why when I put my key in the door, I always remember when I came home and didn’t have to check on his mischief. When I didn’t have to fend off a hurtling dog. When I didn’t come home and feel whole, happy, and alive.
My life isn’t perfect today. But today I jiggled my key and came home and realized Rocky didn’t care about any of that. He didn’t care about the past. He didn’t care about the future. He just cared about the then and there – we were together again and that was all he needed to be happy. And when I think about it, I realize maybe I am the one who needs to learn from him.
Why regret the past? Why fret about the future? How about living and appreciating today?
I love today. I love my dog. And I am ready to live again tomorrow.
I am very sorry for not keeping up to date on this blog. A lot of me just wanted to put everything that happened in the past and move forward. I am grateful for everyone that came and visited our blog and helped us during our hard time. It was not our intention to neglect you since then. We just wanted to make sure we learned to appreciate one another. Rocky has set up a facebook page for people who want to keep in contact with him. He will post updates and pictures on his comings, goings, and doings. Add him as a friend: http://www.facebook.com/rockythemunn
For now – this is us signing out. Love you all,
Rocky and Rocky’s Dad
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